Sunday, May 22, 2011

Being a Great Friend

It seems like all of life is a big set of lessons learned when it comes to friendship. I have had my ups and downs with friends, but some people seem to just naturally be better friends then others. So I thought, why not write another very conflicting post about what makes a great friend. Ahh yes, my arrogance has grown to new levels. I write this mostly for me to remember what to be, then for you.

A great friend:
  • Says yes-Over-busy friends who are always tell you "not this time, next time, or sorry I have other commitments," are just not friends. You have to do stuff together to have a friendship. 90% of being a good friend is just showing up, (and not being a pain in the butt once you get there)

  • Is there even when the chips are down-Conditional friendship is not friendship. Someone who is all happy when things are going well but then ditches you or comes up with excuses when you truly need them is not a friend. A true friend loves you even when you are crying, in distress, super depressed and in need of help or comfort.

  • Picks up the gas can-Like the good country song, a good friend picks up the gas can and gets there fast. Friends serve each other, help each other out even when it’s a pain in the butt. This could be money, a bed, strong arms, job recommendation, etc.

  • Is fun to be with-Friends are for laughter and fun, telling jokes, sharing stories, cracking up during that funny moment. Friendship is work, but shouldn't be all work. Some people have personality issues that just make them not fun. I am still learning painfully that being fun is not easy.

  • Gives honest feedback-Friends should be honest. You shouldn't have to see a therapist to hear that you are annoying, or your mother to say you have snot on your nose. Saying what you really think and giving good feedback on your friends actions is crucial.

  • Doesn't hog you-Share your friends, let them spend time with other people, other friend groups and other fun things that don't include you. If they are a great friend, you shouldn't just keep them for yourself, but share the wealth. Group activities can be a lot of fun. Having more friends is not bad.

  • Knows invites go both ways-A great friend invites you to things they are going to and doing. If one person is doing all the initiating and inviting it gets very lopsided. Some people are more aggressive than others, but there is always something to invite someone to do.